The Spectacular by Zoe Whittall

Author:Zoe Whittall [Whittall, Zoe]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperAvenue
Published: 2021-06-05T00:00:00+00:00

Vermont, 1987

1.

My granddaughter, Melissa, grew up with too much freedom. But freedom was the whole point, Bryce said, of this living experiment. Sunflower Commune. Somehow autonomy and community were the two most important values, but all I could see was how those values were often in opposition to each other. You can’t spend a whole life being yourself without ruining someone else. Gail and I were visiting for Melissa’s twelfth birthday. I knew I probably wouldn’t be able to make the trip much longer, even with Gail, who made everything seem easy. Sunflower was several miles outside of a small village that was several miles outside of a slightly bigger town. Towns were clumped like birds in a nest in the small valleys’ clearings, with one gas station, a store, and a handful of modern homes beside a river, and then a continual rural void. Gail loved not knowing where she was. I hated the remoteness. By the time you arrived near the commune there was a feeling of lawlessness, a sense that families fended for themselves in this area. It reminded me of Turkey in that way. Some people feel protected by open space; I am unravelled by it. But in late summer Vermont was so green, rich with growth and promise. It was impossible not to feel alive. Gail pointed at a swooping hawk, which made her swerve the car toward the ditch and then right herself, heavy on the gas. The older Gail got, the more she leaned into living life like an outlaw. Sometimes she inspired this in me. When we pulled over at a gas station, I overheard the attendant tell the cashier, Looks like the cast of Cocoon just pulled up. He was talking about us! So when I paid for the gas, I slipped a packet of orange Trident gum into my purse without paying. We drove on until we saw the hand-painted sign on the thin lip of the highway: SUNFLOWER—THIS WAY. Behind us in the backseat were two blue hard-shell suitcases. Between us a cooler with cucumber sandwiches, slices of cheese, apples, and a Thermos of coffee. I held my pocketbook in my lap for most of the ride until Gail said, Are you expecting to have to make a run for it?

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